Piste Off! The Most Ridiculous Ski Slope Trends
Winter sports are stylish and effortlessly cool, right? Wrong!
Annoyingly, some people on the slopes want to ruin everyone else’s reputation.
We could have swept these skiing crimes under the carpet and pretend they never happened. But, instead, we thought we’d name and shame them.
Here are some of the most ridiculous ski slope trends. The horrific, the bad, the ugly – it’s all here. There’s nowhere to hide!
Snowshoeing – Walking Isn’t A Sport
Snowshoeing is essentially just walking in the snow with stupid shoes. No really, that’s it. It’s a fancy name for walking.
Snowshoeing became popular because, apparently, it’s safer than other winter sports. This is unsurprising when you realise that, naturally, it’s less dangerous to walk through some snow than hurtle down a mountain.
Snowshoeing also been described as ‘easy to learn’. This is hardly mind-blowing news, since most people learn to walk around the age of one.
Monoskiing – The Wannabe
Monoskiing couldn’t decide whether it wanted to be skiing or snowboarding, so settled on being all the worst parts of both sports.
The ‘sport’ could also be described as a medieval form of torture. Both your feet are strapped onto one board, facing forwards. If this wasn’t ridiculous enough, you’re also given a set of poles. The phrase ‘trying too hard’ springs to mind.
Anyone who’s monoskiing looks like they lost one ski on the way down the mountain. Either that, or they’re on a really tiny snowboard.
If this was an answer to solve the skiing and snowboarding rivalry, maybe try again. Monoskiing is the younger, annoying cousin in the world of winter sports.
You’ve made your bed with this one, monoskiing, you can lie in it.
Ski Biking – For Wheel-Less Wonders
In the ever-changing world of winter sports, new trends are bound to emerge.
But, not this. Not ski biking. We’re not old-fashioned, we just don’t like seeing the slopes disgraced.
For those who live in the blissful state of ignorance, with ski biking, the clue’s in the name.
We’re not too sure who thought it would be a good idea to take the wheels off a bike and replace them with skis. But, all we do know is that it looks ridiculous.
Heli-Skiing – The Pretentious Way to the Top
Those born with a silver spoon in their mouth can travel to the top of the mountain by helicopter.
This seems perfectly reasonable, since the ski lift is for peasants.
The aristocrats who have tried heli-skiing claim that it takes the experience to new levels, allowing you to access the best parts of the mountain.
But, we think skiing should be for everyone, not just the elite. We’ll take the normal route, thanks!
Stupid Ski Clothing – A Hat Is Not a Personality
We’d like to tell many people that wearing silly accessories isn’t the same as a sense of humour. Especially skiers.
Some skiing accessories are awesome, there’s no denying that. But, some people always have to take things too far!
Wearing Viking or animal ear helmet covers can be funny sometimes, but we know exactly who are the kind of annoying people who wear them.
Some people think they’re more hilarious than they are. Surprisingly, the novelty of a mohawk helmet wears off.
These are more of a five-minute joke. Don’t overdo it.
During après-ski, seeing someone in a giraffe onesie can be funny for a minute or two.
But, seeing the slopes plagued by crowds of skiers dressed as every animal in the zoo – or worse, seeing a phallic shape hurtle down the mountain, does get irritating.
Sometimes, it’s fine with everyone else if you ski without drawing attention to yourself. Give it a try.
Unless you’re a child, t-shirts with puns and rubbish slogans are unacceptable.
No one wants to be confronted with a brightly coloured t-shirt with the words ‘Skiing is the answer, who cares what the question was?’ sprawled across it.
Another favourite seems to be ‘Eat, sleep, ski – repeat.’ We all know this is a skier’s lifestyle, we don’t need it printed on a t-shirt.
‘Skiing and beer that’s why you’re here?’ Yes, us too. We just don’t need our clothes to prove it for us.
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